Laughter

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are  obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are  co-dependent,  please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are  paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are  delusional, press 7 and
your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are  schizophrenic, listen carefully
and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are  manic-depressive, hang up.
It  doesn’t matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are  dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are  bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.

If you have  short-term   memory loss ,  press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have  low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are  menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won’t be crazy forever.

If  you are blonde, don’t press any buttons.
You’ll just mess it up.

This coming week is
National Mental Health Care  week.
You can do your part by remembering
to contact at least
one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done . Your turn!)

smile

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22 thoughts on “Laughter

  1. Laughter is the best medicine! 😆

  2. This was great! I would have been pushing a lot of buttons haha!!

    • Isn’t it (hope it is not ‘Politically incorrect’)! 🙂

      • Politically Incorrect can be stretched to cover anything, if one is in the mood to be offended – –

        Since I was in the mood to be entertained this a.m. – No worries – 😛

        Seriously – I’m all for being kind and compassionate, but the PI stuff has gone way too far – –

        I heard the saying, “Just waiting for the opportunity to be offended” a few years back and came to the conclusion that this rampant attitude is the chief cause for so much PI nonsense…

        🙂

      • Thanks. I believe that making light of it helps to eliminate the social stigma and encourage empathy. 🙂

      • As you noted previously – using humour to discuss the serious is almost always a good plan –
        It even works at funerals, if the intent and genuine respect are present in the speaker…

      • You are absolutely right. You can’t talk ill of the dead but you can tell/make a joke about them. 🙂

  3. Yes, laughter is wonderful! And sometimes we just have to laugh at our ego behavior.

  4. Love it 😀 Thank you, Gita!

  5. I always laugh when I see this in WP. I posted this way back then. I needed that laugh. Thanks, Ela. 😆

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