How to handle criticism or verbal attacks.

STOP

1. Let it out.

The first thing I often do after I notice that something did actually get under my skin is to talk it over with someone close to me. Usually my girlfriend.

By just letting it out and venting you can release a lot of inner tension and the two of you can find a more helpful and healthier perspective on what has gotten under your skin.

 

2. Ask yourself: is the person having a bad day or year?

When my self-esteem was lower than it is today then I used to think that pretty much all the negative things people said to me was my fault.However, that is often not the case.

People can verbally attack you or nag or criticize harshly because they may have had an awful day or week. Or simply

because they do not like their lives very much at all.

So don’t think this is all about you. There are two of you in this situation.

 

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3. Ask yourself: could there be something here that could help me?

This question is not always fun to ask yourself. And it doesn’t always lead anywhere at all. But after you have calmed down by using the steps above it can be helpful.

Especially if this is the fifth or tenth time you have heard the same thing from people. Then there might be something here you would like to work on.

So at least take a minute or two to think about it.

 

4. Learn how to improve and keep your self-esteem steady.

I have improved my own self-esteem greatly and teaching people to do that for themselves is something that is very close to my heart.

Because I know how it is to have low self-esteem and how limited and unhappy life can become.

And I know the difference that having a mental self-esteem toolbox and healthier thought habits makes.

Less stuff gets under your skin for example. It bounces off of you. It does not drag you down and ruin your day or week.

 

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Have a self-kind day!

Henrik Edberg

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9 thoughts on “How to handle criticism or verbal attacks.

  1. I thought this was great advice. 🙂

  2. petit4chocolatier

    Words of wisdom!

  3. It took me a long time to accept the fact “So don’t think this is all about you”… Yes, yes self esteem!!

  4. I understand these concepts. Hard to place into practice, but as I have gotten older, I have gotten better. There is always room for improvement though………:)

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